First Impressions
by YonderB
Summary: Gaara is sent to konoha to have a meeting with the Godaime, and Naruto warps his image of the hokage so much that when he actually meets her, he gets a bit of a shock. Crack. Possible TsuGaa if you squint.


"Oh, come _on_! O-baa-chan can wait!"

It was a semi-warm, slightly humid day in the Hidden Village of Konoha, the village bustling with activity like it usually was, the sun warming the sand and plants, giving Konoha a rather peaceful look.

Two comrades who stuck out like two sore thumbs were walking down a street, one with bright golden hair and three lines on each cheek –and wearing an orange jump-suit that clashed terribly with his hair–, the other with dark shadows around his eyes and blood-red hair –with a gourd strapped to his back that looked like it weighed a ton or two–, the second looking mildly miffed.

"Naruto, I was sent here for a meeting with the Godaime. _Not_ to sparr with you." Sabaku no Gaara stated in a monotonous voice, arms crossed firmly over his chest. "Besides, with sparring, you can't kill."

"Oh, come on! You became _Kazekage_! I _gotta_ know how you did it! Anyway, people feel better after they sparr!" wailed Uzumaki Naruto, looking thoroughly heartbroken, snatching a handful of Gaara's shirt to stare deeply into the used-to-be homicidal maniac's eyes with his down-pat kicked-puppy look.

Apparently it wasn't down-pat enough.

Gaara's face was as stone-cold as it was a few moments before, then he slowly slipped an arm from having it crossed over his chest and raised his hand, thin, pale fingers slowly curling, an inch away from Naruto's pouting face, when...

_FLICK_

"_YEOW_!" Naruto screamed, stumbling backwards, clutching his nose, before falling into an orange lump on the ground, eyes watering profusely.

"Wad did joob do dat bore?!" Naruto moaned, hands still clasped firmly over his nose, distorting his speech.

"The meeting is in five minutes, Naruto." Gaara stated. "Why did the Godaime choose _you_ to greet me, anyway?"

"She thought I might be a refreshing face to see." Naruto grumbled, rubbing his nose before standing back up, brushing dirt from his clothing.

Teal eyes rolled skyward, but Gaara said nothing.

"This the first time you've met O-baa-chan?" Naruto started conversation as though the assault on his person didn't happen, starting to walk again, the Kazekage following him and merely giving him a nod.

"Seen any pictures of O-baa-chan?" Naruto continued, Gaara shaking his head in answering.

A slow, morbid grin worthy of Gaara himself melted onto Naruto's face, luckily, Gaara noticed.

"_Saaay_," Naruto drawled, looking back at Gaara, a jaw-splitting grin now in place, "I'll give ya a few pointers on talkin' to O-baa-chan, yeah?"

Gaara's teal eyes flickered over Naruto's face, and the stoic former homicidal maniac said nothing.

"She doesn't like uncomfortable silences, she likes sake, and she likes it when people look at her chest, because not much is there!" Naruto chirped cheerily. Being the badass and oh-so-awesome ninja he is, Gaara knew something was up.

"Ah! We're here!" Naruto crowed, now standing at the doors of the Hokage building.

Letting out a gentle sigh of relief, Gaara pushed the door open and entered.

"I'll wait here! We can have sparr after the meeting!" Naruto called from the door as Gaara silently climbed the stairs.

Gaara saw a large red door with a young lady standing by it, a young piglett in her arms, her hair semi-short and hanging in her eyes.

"OH! You must be Kazekage-sama." Smiled the lady, bowing her head as Gaara stopped in front of her. "I'm Shizune." Her pig threw his two cents into the barrel with a '_bwe! bwe!_'.

Gaara bowed his head in answering, running a hand through his wispy blood-red hair. "Is the Hokage here?"

The lady named Shizune nodded happily and opened the door beside her for him, letting him enter, before following.

"Tsunade-sama! Kazekage-sama is here!" chirped Shizune happily from just behind Gaara.

The chair behind the desk before Gaara had it's back to him, and it slowly swung around, first revealing a rather large breast, then another. Then the owner of said breasts.

Gaara bit his tongue to stop himself swearing.

Oh, Naruto was going to die tonight.

A slow and _painful_ death for giving Gaara the image that the Hokage was a _normal_ lady with _normal_ breasts.

Now he couldn't stop _staring_.

Yes. Naruto was going to _die_.

To Tsunade, the meeting went off without a hitch. The Kazekage was a soft-spoken young lad with impressive eyes and nice hair, and didn't even seem the one to harm even a _fly_.

"See you later, Kazekage!" Tsunade called happily, raising a manicured hand to the young red-headed beauty who gave her a small –if not slightly pained– smile over his shoulder, before disappearing out of the door Shizune was holding open for him.

"Such a nice boy." Tsunade crooned, getting fuzzy tingles all over her body.

Shizune nodded her head happily.

_CRASH_

"HOLY--!!" Tsunade rushed to her window and slammed it open to stare as Naruto zig-zagged through streets in a mere orange and yellow blur, cackling like a witch, a black-red blur streaking after him, some sort of light brown powder going everywhere.

"I wonder what that was about." Tsunade blinked.

Shizune nodded by her shoulder.

For the next few ours, the fur flew, the feathers were ruffled, and Naruto was bashed into a bloody pulp.

"Ahahaha... _wheeeee_...!" Naruto giggled in a euphoric voice, covered in bruises and cuts, eyes closed, a wide grin on his face, tears of his laughing of late trickling down his somewhat swollen and discoloured cheeks, his orange and rather grass-stained jumpsuit ripped in occasional places, his body curled into a somewhat fetal position.

Gaara sat down in front of Naruto, legs crossed, elbows resting on his knees, teal eyes as hard as stone, fixed on Naruto's battered face.

Then, Gaara's face morphed into one of pure happiness, a wide smile and all.

"You know, Naruto, I think you're right. I _do_ feel better! We should do this _again_ sometime!" The Kazekage crooned in a singsong voice the Kazekage patting Naruto's shoulder, before Gaara's smile morphed into a morbid smirk.

"_Wheeeeeee_..." was all Naruto said.

((END. I wanted to have Naruto say "Oh pooh." in his fanfiction, because i find the mental image of Naruto saying that hilarious for some reason, but i couldn't. Anyway, hope you liked it, and no, i am not a fan of TsuGaa or GaaTsu, i just find it amusing as hell.))


End file.
